Will It Ferment?

ferm feuilletons logoFermented Feuilletons #2


Do you remember those ads that went viral a few years ago “Will it Blend?”. Yes, I am talking about the ones with the CEO of BlendTech messing around with his own products.That’s the one. Well you see, I am NOT like my mum, the FFF, and I am NOT a gigantic fan of everything on Earth that can be fermented. Also, this will be pretty long since I’ll be listing every single fermented food I ever ate and it will have to be in two part. Also please note that every one of these I like not fermented, so that doesn’t affect it. Let’s get started:

Cabbage🍛 – Will it Ferment?

Note to self: The curry and rice emoji works surprisingly well for sauerkraut. Anyway, I have to eat sauerkraut a lot since it’s on the side pretty much every time my mum is making dinner, although the way she makes it there is really no reason to complain. So, yes, it does ferment.

Cucumbers – Will it Ferment?

Okay, this one is slightly more complicated. If you follow the FFF blog for a while you will definitely know that fermented cucumbers depend on many factors that define whether they are tasty or not. This is mostly stuff like how long they were fermented and how much salt was added. I personally prefer them when they have been fermented for around two weeks and not very salty, but I don’t hate other ones. So the overall answer is “Yes!”

Brussels Sprouts – Will it Ferment?

Unfortunately, it is the opposite of a celebration for me and my dad (FFF’s OBH as he was named in the glossary of terms) when a jar of brussels sprouts is being opened, purely because of the smell. But this isn’t supposed to be about the smell, this is about the taste. I really hate to say though that I tried them before and I really do not understand how my mum can like them so much. For me at least, they definitely do not ferment.

Carrots – Will it Ferment?

So, a pretty funny situation here. Even though my mum ferments them in the same jar as the brussel sprouts, I actually kinda like these. I mean, I wouldn’t eat them just for the satisfaction, but they sure are not as bad as they smell. Carrots do ferment.

Tea** 🍹- Will it Ferment?

Woo hoo! I found an emoji that sort of fits in again! Anyway, here we have a tricky pinkie again. There are LOTS of types of kombucha. As many as you can think of tasty liquids or powders containing sugar. I like MOST kombuchas that are made in our household. I even make my own. However, I am not a very big fan of ginger kombucha. But I guess that is just one type  that I do not like out of many I do. So, kombucha does ferments.

Beetroots – Will it Ferment?

Emm… they don’t actually taste that much different than normal cooked beetroots, only that they are fermented they are slightly more sour. They also turn out great in Christmas Eve Broth 🍵 (Barszcz Wigilijny) So, yeah. Beetroots  ferment.

Parsnip – Will it Ferment?

It really has that nice sweet taste to it. As you may know my mum is a huge fan of fermented parsnips and, to be honest,  they are pretty darn good. Definitely recommended and definitely ferments.

Kale – Will it Ferment?

Yeah… I don’t really have too much against plain kale, but fermented it’s just absolutely horrible. I’m sorry. There’s just nothing to write about her. Kale does not ferment.

Garlic – Will it Ferment?

Once again it’s a pretty sad one. I’m not a huge garlic enthusiast anyway (I’m a vampire!)  and fermenting it just makes it even worse. So once again: sorry, garlic! You do not ferment.

Thank you sooooooo much for reading this. It would be awesome if you could also go ahead and watch the video. A lot of work went into making it (actually, the hardest part was probably eating the stuff that do not ferment.) Also, I really hope that you will come back next year to read the next feuilleton. Get it?!? Merry Christmas! 🎅

 * When cabbage is fermented it becomes sauerkraut, duh.

** When tea is fermented it becomes kombucha, duh.

 Click here to read more Mika’s feuilletons.


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